I am lingering

in the shadows

of butterflies

as the sun climbs over

cloud debris in the sky

walking along empty pathways

on the water's edge

finches and blackbirds call

from tall grasses and

wildflowers as I walk along

my heart follows the vines

where the blooms open

in the late summer afternoon

and rest in the cool, quiet

arms of the night

bullfrogs growl

and cicadas sing

in time with the echo

of each step of mine towards

the deep green woods ahead

sunshine sprawls across

the vibrant wing

shaping the shelter below

this is where I am

heart and song

I am wandering home

~

03.07.08

Leigh-Anne Tyson

What helps you stay open?

 

 

I read this (and wrote something for) this question this afternoon. I had a quiet moment in a hectic schedule and use it to have wander around myGaia for a bit. I felt rushed when I wrote – and when I re-read it, I realized that I did not say what I wanted that – or at least not in the way that I wanted to. So I deleted. This, I also realized is what really helps me to stay open – to not become too attached to what I have written or said – to be able to re-write, re-post an idea, and on the opposite end of the spectrum, respecting what I have written in any given moment as being ok for that moment.

 

It is difficult these days to find the time that I would like to have in order to answer the questions that are posted. I find those questions  (another others similar in nature) to be very thought provoking and interesting. They tend to open up an entire line of thinking that is refreshing to me. Then, this is true of my entire experience on Gaia – which for me has done a great deal to help me to stay open. The diversity of thought and experience shared in the many different parts of this community have been a great source of inspiration for me over the past couple of years. Sometimes I find that I am challenged to become more open to this diversity, to embrace the differences of people, opinions etc, sometimes it is like having a small respite from the intensity of my life.  Wandering through Gaia is often like hopping across stones in a river – as the river flows by. I find myself in the ebb and flow of this river – where the water rests in quiet pools or rushes over rapids or leaps over waterfalls… I enjoy the river that is Gaia very much for this reason.

 

The more I thought about this question today, the more I have dug down to the roots – and it is the process of letting go that is the common thread. Change, letting go, letting things be as they are, how they are meant or need to be in any given moment – this is what helps me to stay open – then there is love.

 

On Thursday, a woman came to me just before one of the yoga classes that I teach, and told me about her son. We have talked a few times about him, he is going through a very difficult time – struggling with an addiction to cocaine that he isn’t ready to admit to. On June 21, he was in a terrible car accident and had to have his left leg amputated. Four years ago, on June 21 he had his right leg amputated. He is now confined to a wheel chair. I was very moved by what she was telling me – not only about what happened to her son – whose accident was not caused by any drugs or alcohol – but how it is impacting her life, her daughter’s life, and the love that she has for him that is unbreakable. She said to me with tears in her eyes that she told him that he had to change his life or the next June 21 he will be dead – then said that he was her son, that she would never abandon him no matter what he did. Unconditional love. Loving someone when it is difficult (seems impossible) to love – that is what helps me to stay open too.

 

Breathing helps too.

 

Xo

la

I

 

One of the main principles of yoga is the union – the union of the mind, body and soul through the breath, moving through the asanas and cleansing the body. Over the past four years, I have had the privilege of volunteering to lead classes for an amazing group of people at the Horton Street Seniors Centre. The average age of the classes is 75 and my oldest ‘student’ is 92.  Although we began with a small group of ten when we first started meeting twice a week, the class has grown to 176 students this spring. I have often been asked to talk about the class, to share some stories from the mat, and today, I thought that I would begin a series of small notes about just that. Those classes have become the metaphor for me, of the guiding principle of union in yogic philosophy. Without needing to label it or think about it too deeply, these classes have shown me the value of being completely present in the moment while practising and the wonderful results that can arrive when you do.

 

There is a kind of fluidity that exists in these classes because they are ‘drop-in’. Because I volunteer as the instructor, and am not paid to teach the class, there is no need to register – meet quotas in order to earn a living or any other concerns like that – the pressure is off. If there is one or 30 the class goes on. The dynamic of the class is always changing, and I personally enjoy the ebb and flow. What I have noticed over the past four years is that while there are those who come once or twice, or infrequently – there are those who naturally become very dedicated to practising the forms. It is a lovely experience, to watch someone who is completely new to yoga, grow into the forms and develop a greater understanding of how their mind and body relate to each other, and how both are intimately connected to their spirit.

 

I love having the opportunity to know each of them in a special way through the classes. I remember one woman who came to me after she had been coming to the class for a week. She had tried everything previously to sleep. She suffered with insomnia for years and no remedy would work for her. She was barely able to contain herself when she came to tell me that after the first class she had the best sleep she had ever had in years. She couldn’t understand why, because  we had done an hours worth of simple stretches and breathing exercises, but she woke up the next day feeling so rested. She didn’t say anything to me at the second class because she thought maybe it was a fluke. Then, she slept well again after the second class – she realized she was onto something valuable for her – something that could change her way of living – something that would allow her to sleep finally. I hugged her and encouraged her to continue working on the forms – she would feel benefits with time in addition to sleeping more fitfully.

 

Another woman was very happy to report to me after a few weeks of practising the forms at the classes that she had begun to build up enough strength in her arms that she could play the piano again. She had to stop playing a few years ago because her wrists and arms had no strength and it was too painful for her to play. I was so pleased to know that she had worked in the classes to bring the music back into her life. I was proud of her too for being brave and opening up to this new experience so that everything was made possible.

 

Being present, open and courageous – this is what motivates me to continue these classes. There are many stories, life histories and wisdom that is shared in each class by everyone who comes. It was not until this past year that the men started to arrive in the class. They are small in number, but they definitely enjoy being part of the class. Their experience is different – many men at the age of 65 + do not bend well, have lost a lot of flexibility in their joints and muscles. It is a barrier that they must work to overcome – to even convince them to go to class in the first place. But, word of mouth is amazing, and one by one the men started joining the class, grunting and bending during the forms and loving the breathing and relaxation exercises (with gentle reminders that they should try not to fall asleep and snore through the remaining quiet time). I have said it before, but I am deeply honoured to be able to create a space and opportunity for people to learn something new – not just yoga but to learn through yoga more about themselves. It is a beautiful experience – one that I hope to continue for as long as possible.

 

la

 

 

 

 

Victoria Park

London, ON

 

On July 31^st to August 4^th the Boys & Girls Club of London will be hosting the 20^th annual London Rib-fest in Victoria Park, in London, Ontario Canada. As one of the organizers of the event, I thought it would also be a great opportunity for any Gaia members who might be around on the Civic long weekend to come out and meet. All of the proceeds from this event  go to the Club – there will be music and entertainment , lots of food (not just ribs!) to meet everyone’s tastes, craft vendors and artists, and fun activities for the kids.

 

If you would like to come out to the park – send me an email and we will make arrangements. I would love to meet you! I will be at the festival every day from 11 am to 11 pm.

 

 

Much love,

Leigh-Anne

 

I am taking a pause this morning to breathe and write. There are 7 days left before I will move my ‘office' to the park in preparation for the beginning of the 5 day festival that I am one of the organizers of - the London Rib-fest. I will add a little blurb after writing about what that festival is - I am very proud to be part of it, and am happy that things have really come together for the event this year. There have been some surprises, some challenges, a lot of hard work that the whole team has put in - and the event hasn't even started!!

As always, I am busy - but not busy to the point of dropping off the face of the earth. I have been able to find a good balance between the work load (which of course continues to increase) and doing some things for myself that make me happy (like writing, producing some artwork and most of all spending time with my family). There is a theme that I have noticed that has been reoccurring over the past two weeks or so - a theme of renewal and transformation. In amongst the chaotic days, I find myself thinking more and more about these concepts, and why they are popping up over and over again for me (other than the obvious smack in the face that I have been getting from life in general to wake up)

I had a dream a couple of nights ago about being asked to build an artesian well. Now, I am pretty mechanically inclined - I am no stranger to building things - but I was surprised when I woke up that I was asked to build this well in my dream. I understand the symbolic meaning of the dream - the symbols are no mystery to me - but the more I thought about what an artesian well was - what it means to have one available, I started to understand a deeper metaphor for my life right now - but not only.

If you are asking what an artesian well is - here is the brief and loose outline of it - it is a well that is drilled down to the porous layer of rock (limestone usually) that is squeezed between two layers of hard sedimentary rock. The pressure created in this rock sandwich forces the water up the pipe, overcoming gravity and producing an continuous stream of water that is ready to be collected and consumed. There are several places in the world that have these wells. I haven't done much research on the whole process due to lack of time but, I am sure that I will take the opportunity to when things slow down here. Of course, what has struck me about the artesian well most is the ability of the water to overcome gravity to move upward. It's a really beautiful thing - and the pressure of the rock layers that facilitates this movement. It reminds me of a quote that I love:

Serenity isn't freedom from the storm, but peace within the storm

 

The water from the artesian well seems to be a perfect metaphor for this. The peace within the pressure and force that produces something that is entirely necessary for life itself. Something for me to remember when I am running around the park in a week!!

Anyway - I am certain that the next couple of weeks will be equally interesting!

Much love

Leigh-Anne

~

About the London Rib-fest:

when & where: July 31st to August 4th in Victoria Park, London, ON, Canada
why: all proceeds go to the Boys & Girls Club of London Children & Youth Recreation Programs
cost: admission is free

This is our 20th year of hosting the London Rib-fest in Victoria Park - it is a 5 day festivaly in the center of downtown London. 12 world class restaurants compete for the honours of best ribs and best sauce in London and Canada. This is the largest Rib-Fest in Canada and the 2nd largest in North America. We were just named Best Event in Canada by West Jet's UP! magazine.

Each year over 130, 000 visitors come to the event. There are craft and food vendors in addition to the rib restaurants (don't fear if you are vegetarian there are vendors for you too), family entertainment, kiddie rides, rock climbing, 2 beer tents, 2 entertainment stages, karaoke, and much more happening in the park.

Every year, the Boys and Girls Club of London serves over 8, 265 children and youth, 1,300 seniors and 14,000 families in the city of London. We provide recreational, educational and social programs to everyone. Most of our members come from low-income families and are in need. No one is turned away due to lack of funds. The London Rib-fest is our major fundraiser of the year - and has grown into the biggest block party of the summer!!

Come out and help us paint the city Pink!

~

The legend of the day is written

Along rings of the oak standing centerfield

Shadows flow like cloth in the soft light of dusk

While the blackbirds call to each other

The audacity of crows' chatter pushes me

To listen with everything that I am

For the low sweet tones

Of the coming night.

In the last rays of golden sunlight

My heart wanders in the lines and curves

Of the branches overhead

Among the leaves now opened wide

In this moment's expression

Leaning against the worn trunk

I watch the deepening sky

Spread out like the palm of my hand

Silence courts the field

Even the birds have found stillness

As the stars emerge with their inky partners

To dance to the moon's song

I find under the cover of oak and evening

My heart emptied out and cradled

In hopes and dreams just imagined

And I realize I have been holding my breath

Waiting for this moment to become

25.07.08

Leigh-Anne Tyson

07.28.08


Three days before the festival begins (London Rib-fest). I am always filled with a certain amount of anxiety and excitement as the start of the festival approaches. This is going to be a busy big year for us. Although it is our 20th Anniversary, there have been many unexpected hurdles and hiccups along the way. There have also been some unexpected surprises and good news in amongst the most chaotic moments. Everything has its balance. I will be glad when everything gets started, and when everything wraps up. What I hope most for is that we will raise a lot of money for the kids at the Boys & Girls Club. That to me is what matters.

I was thinking yesterday about how this kind of energy (anticipation, anxiety, excitement etc) creates a dilemma for me. When I am in this frame of mind, I want/ need to write - not about anything in particular, but I just have an overwhelming need to write something. Now, there is a slight twist on this because I have for the past eight months been working on developing my writing in a great writing workshop (Diving Deeper with Sandra Jensen), and have reconnected with that inner well of mine that seemed to have dried up (or at least got good and clogged) a couple of years ago. I have written a lot in these months (almost 400 pages) and yet I do not feel that this has in anyway quenched that thirst... though, it was pointed out to me that I have not in fact written a journal/ blog consistently in all of this time. It's true, I haven't. I have managed to write from time to time about some things (answer questions mostly) but I haven't really sat down in a long time to just write what is going on in the brain at the time. There isn't really a reason for it. My head has been in fiction writing and a very tiny bit of poetry these days, and not in the recording of the daily coming and going of my mind. This has meant no journaling of any significant kind - no tracking down of ideas, very little time for book surfing or active reflection. Lots of stories though... or at least the beginnings of stories.

I thought about this a lot when it was brought to my attention - surprised in my own oblivious way that it would have been missed, but it's ok that it was, and ok of course that I haven't been keeping up with it. The writing's the thing - what drives me more and more and I honestly did not fully understand that until recently. I am sure that almost everyone goes through periods like this, where you start to question - well do I even have anything interesting to say, who is going to read it? Why would they?....and every other insecurity (small or large) that shakes a person's confidence. I used to write in a journal on a daily basis (not online of course) and found it to be a good exercise for the brain (as well as getting some necessary emotional distance from a particular event/ situation that I found myself writing about).

This didn't translate very well to the online journaling world that I found myself in over the more recent years - didn't translate for me. I found that what I was writing more often than not was poetry - and unless someone was able to be very astute in deciphering the underlying messages (the ones that I could not have possibly identified at the time) then there really wasn't much of interest to read in that journal. I think actually that is where my conflicted feelings around writing first sprouted. Even if no one was going to read - the possibility of an audience made me more self-conscious of what I was writing (and less ready and willing to bore people with constant complaining, poetry or random rants and musings) and that eventually lead to me becoming blocked almost entirely.

I give full credit to the Diving Deeper workshop format and to Sandra Jensen for helping me get back on track where writing is concerned. If you ever have the inkling to go deeper into your writing - she is definitely the person to get in touch with. It is hard work - a lot of soul searching and reflection and a required honesty to let go completely into the dive to write whatever comes up - no matter how startling, unsettling or downright terrifying it might be. There is tremendous freedom to be found in her assignments and methods. I could go on and on about it, but it isn't possible to understand until you actually go for it, and jump in yourself.

I realized yesterday, as the festival is pushing closer and closer that it was time to get back to writing some kind of reflection/ musing on a semi regular basis - not because I think that I have interesting to say... that I can not guarantee, but I know now that it doesn't matter if I do or don't. Writing whatever comes up - whether it happens to be about biotechnology and the frightening state of the scientific community as it stands right now, or some strange dream that I might have had over the course of a few days, or a note just to mention that things are going well, or all hell is about to break loose. Writing it is what matters. That is what unclogs the well for me. If someone reads it, great. If no one reads it, also great. I know that there is going to be one person reading it always - me.

That's enough.Now, before I get completely carried away. The next week will be very busy and I will not have much online time, if any. I did occur to me that I often say this when a big event arrives, and I don't know what my spare personal time is going to look like - but I say with cautious optimism that although I will be offline for the next week - running around Victoria park, making sure that everything is running as smoothly as possible, and if they aren't, trying to find solutions for the issues at hand - I will keep writing when/ if I am able to. Maybe it won't happen because I will be too busy to (likely) or maybe I will be able to steal the odd minute from time to time (hopefully) but - after the event, I am going to have a go at writing more than just assignments and get back to writing in other forms more (whatever that might be).

Well, that's enough for now - time to get back to work!


Much love,


la