Well, it’s been awhile since I last wrote, and I thought it would be a good time to give an update. The countdown is on....in a couple of weeks, I will be jumping in the pool for my ninth year of swimming in the HW Coulson Swim-A-Thon at the Boys & Girls Club of London where I work. I have been surprised by the response and generosity of those around me who have donated to support the youth through my swim. I reached a record amount for pledges yesterday, ending the day at $1,025. I was actually pretty stunned when I added everything up, and saw that was the total. Each year I usually raise $200 – which I have collected through spare change in the fall from my own pockets. This was the first time that I actually sent out a message to people to invite them to support this really wonderful event. It is amazing what can happen when you just make a simple ask. I am thrilled, of course, because I know where this money is going.

I know that $1,025 feeds 1,025 children and youth in our supper club program. Too many children come to the Club on an empty stomach. That is the reason why we developed the nutrition program. Marieke, who runs the program, has done a really fantastic job in providing the menus for supper each night – the kids love the meals, and when they leave the Club, we can all feel good about the fact that they left with a belly full of healthy food, not candy and other junk. This money that I have collected so far will help a lot of children to have at least one nutritious meal each day of the week when they come.

I know that $1,025 will give 68 children a fully subsidized membership for the year at the Boys & Girls Club. The majority of the children and youth come from low-income families and come to the Club. No child is ever turned away because of inability to pay. In these times, when everyone is worried about job cutbacks, the economy, and mortgage payments, there are those whose primary concern is getting food on the table and a roof over their heads. The children face the fullest impact of these hardships. This money that I have collected will help them to have a safe place to come and just be kids.

I know that $1,025 will buy 10,250 pencils for children and youth who are part of the education program we run here called My Action Plan To Education. They come here for tutoring and mentoring every day. This money that I have collected will help them have the tools they need to finish school.

I know that $1,025 will make a difference. I am proud of the people who have chosen to give what they could in order to make a difference to the lives of the children and youth that come through the Club every day.


I have two weeks left – maybe I can break my current record clean out of the water! If not, I am very happy with how things have come together so far. All I have left to do is to swim my little heart out on February 20th.

I will keep you posted with how things go ;-)

Much love
la

PS. If you would like to know more about the work we do, visit www.bgclondon.ca

the glib answer: everything and nothing

the not so glib answer: everything and nothing

This is a thought provoking question for me. I think the main thing I am supposed to learn is "panta rei" and "estin enai"... everything changes and being is. Patience to learn both is at times very fleeting (or non-existant) for me, but inevitably, whatever the situation that presents itself, I am learning more about myself, and the world around me. Of course, contained within both of these two truths is a wide range of learning for me to do... including learning how to share the beauty that I see and feel around me. The question I ask myself every day is - what have I left undone? Will I fully learn what I am supposed to? I don't know. I suspect I will learn what I need to, and continue to learn the next time round....
:-)

xo

Patience.

Phew, there I said it. I used to think that I was a pretty patient person, then I discovered that I was pretending to be patient and deep down I was not patient at all. I was so impatient that I would be frustrated most of the time because no one understand that I had no patience left. Buttons were being pushed and they didn't even know it. I know that I need to learn more patience - for others, for myself, for little things and bigger things.... many different things.

The patience I need is the kind that allows me to be still with everything else going on around me, no matter what it is and not fly into a panic or mildly freak out because of it.

The patience I need is the kind that makes me feet and head tingle when I know that I am making the right decisions.

The patience I need is the kind that allows the deep love and compassion I feel for others to safely come out without my mistaking fear as the imposter.

This is what I need to learn. Patience... and lots of it.

xo
la

   id  This idea for a little fun and spontaneous searching came across my
screen a short while ago. Of course, I had to try it. Why not? I love
music, I love my music library, and hitting shuffle is always an
adventure. Thanks Kalli for the great idea!! I have included the
instructions if you would like to have a go yourself. The results for me
made me shiver at times!


1. Put your iTunes on Shuffle

2. Answer the questions with the title of the first song that comes up.

3. Forward to the next song for the next question.

4. No cheating!

        ~~

        IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY?" YOU SAY?
Montage – the Darjeeling Limited sountrack

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Rather Be – The Verve

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Reflection – Secret Garden

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Hide & Seek – Imogen Heap

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Tibetan Prayer – Dalai Lama

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Harvest Breed- Nick Drake

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Inertia Creeps – Massive Attack

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
The Bunker - Beruit

WHAT IS 2+2?
Stockholm Syndrome - Muse

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Washed Away - Morcheeba

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Flashing The Lobby Lights – Arthur & Yu

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Pin – Yeah Yeah Yeahs
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Papillon – Secret Garden

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Against the Grain – City and Colour

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
One Road to Freedom – Ben Harper

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Angel – Massive Attack

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Les Champs- Elysees – Joe Dassin

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
How Low – Jose Gonzalez

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Saint Angel - Goldie

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Instant Karma – Paul Weller cover

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Suzanne – Peter Gabriel

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
On the Run – Pink Floyd

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Wave of Sorrow (Birdland) – U2

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Holographic Universe – Thievery Corporation

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Butterflies – Peirson Ross

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
What makes a Man? – City and Colour

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
Stoney Street – Amon Tobin

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Starlight – Muse

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
For Lovers – Pete Doherty, Wolfman &  Wolfman

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Nobody Told Me – Willy Mason cover

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Fat Old Sun – Pink Floyd

so, I song shuffled the last twenty questions from Questions & Reflections just for fun... with interesting results :-) (see my previous blog entry to get the instructions etc.)

xo
la

What has been a recurring theam over the past few months?
Mind Games  - Hal

What was the last hint you were given of your purpose?
Enjoy the ride – Morcheeba

What do you think you’re supposed to learn in this lifetime?
Memorial – The Darjeeling Limited soundtrack

What do you most need to learn?
One Small Step – Amon Tobin

What do you search for within yourself?
Any Colour You Like – Pink Floyd

Who or what would you have the hardest time loving?
Ocean Shores – Ocean Dreams

What would you like to come back as?
Jigsaw Falling Into Place – Radiohead

What religious figure would you like to have met?
Perfect Symmetry – Keane

What music has made the biggest difference in your life?
No Dice – Beirut

Have you been thinking more of the past or the future?
Dream Sequence – Amon Tobin

Who are your mentors?
This Time Tomorrow – The Kinks

Do you try to love unconditionally?
Wind – Daniel May

What are your spiritual goals?
Bliss – Muse

Have you ever had a psychic experience?
Papillon – Secret Garden

What does your intuition sound like?
Songs of Sand – Suzanne Vega

What was the last blessing in disguise you received?
Pilot’s Out – Arthur & Yu

What is the most difficult thing about your spiritual path?
Where do you go (my lovely) – Paul Sarstedt

If you could live forever, would you?
Teardrop – Massive Attack

What do you most want to know and understand?
Angel – Massive Attack

Where do you feel most free?
We Are All Made of Stars - Moby

What would you pick as your word of the week?

Great question. I had about 10 come up at once when I first thought about it. Patience, understanding, compassion, dedication, serenity, now, silence, stillness, peace, love. Then I thought, no, wait, I need to pick one word. What word would it be?? Ack. No that isn’t a word. Old. No, that is just how I feel with a birthday two days from now. Fish? No, that is because I am staring at one right now and he won’t stop looking at me. Water? too much like fish, and that is because I am doing the Swim-A-Thon this week... Swimming is out too. Hmm… one word. One word…

One.

Sigh. No, not ONE because that is not the right one. I know it – this word doesn’t need to be said over and over, or again for me. It’s precious. I am just going to tuck that word into the pocket of my heart and keep it safe there.

I found a random word generator. Maybe the universe will throw me a word on this sunny morning?

Ascending

That is a good word. I always have this image of a huge wide staircase going up into the sky when I think of the word ascend. I like the word, but is it the word? I don’t know. Let’s see what the next word that the generator gives me is:

Pairs

Hmm, nope, not the right one either. Pairs is a good word. Pairs of friends, lovers, partners – it’s a strong word, one that fills me with hope and happiness. Faith too. Bad things come in three’s but good things come in pairs… my grandmother used to say that to me. Now pairs is making me think of socks, and I don’t really like socks… especially when one of the socks takes a hike and I am left with mismatched socks. My daughters don’t mind. They have started a trend wearing whatever sock they happen to find. It is too bad you can’t attach string to socks the way you can for mittens. I would never lose another pair of socks again. Though I prefer bare feet anyway… Ok, pairs isn’t the right word either. Back to the generator.

Repairs

Hmm… ok shivers. Yeah, that might be a good word for this week. Repairs. Repairing relationships, friendships, the body, the mind, the heart… Being creative and open to whatever needs to happen in order to repair a situation. Healing.

Third time is the charm.

My word for the week is:

Repairs

xo

la                                                                                          
                                     

It is impossible to ignore the words of Abraham Lincoln these days, and after recently having to face an irrational fear of mine – my birthday, I find his words to be ringing loudly in my ears:

“And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.”

How do I measure up? This is my big question.

On Thursday, I hit a landmark in my life by turning 39. It isn’t the number that bothers me, or some general fear of turning forty. I don’t care about grey hairs (have got quite a few already) or wrinkles or any of those things. I actually cannot sort out exactly what is bothering me, but the root of it is fear. I don’t want to dismiss this fear as frivolous or stupid or unnecessary – it is there for a reason. This prickly, uncomfortable feeling that rises up from the pit of my stomach that says to me… “oh yeah I am going to make you squirm you twit, just wait and see what I can do.” Ok then, bring it on.

If you don’t mind Fear, I am just going to settle in here and sit with you for awhile. I made you tea. Kathy’s poem resonates so well with me right now… I have also invited Happiness back in too. She has been chipping the paint splatters on the porch door and I’ll be darned if I have to repaint in the spring when all of this bloody snow goes again. Speaking of which, (blood, I mean) I had one of those crystal moments last night when I stepped on a piece of broken glass in the kitchen. I pulled out the big chunk of glass that I had missed sweeping up the day before. I remember thinking then, probably I will be the one to step on the one piece of glass that I missed – and I was. It didn’t hurt much once it was out – and I actually didn’t notice any blood until a few minutes later when I saw my bloody foot print all over the white linoleum. Bright red against white. Damn hard to miss that. I don’t know what it is about my feet and stepping on things – I did it too often when I was kid. I had more than a few close encounters with nails through the feet, jumping on them and even had the good sense to put a pitchfork through my foot while “helping” my father in the flower garden. There was no pain, and wasn’t until I had to give him the pitch fork that I noticed it was through my shoe. Bled like stink that day, and last night – standing like a fool watching my bloody footprint I realized something.  Wherever I go, I leave a mark, even if it isn’t obvious. Then, this morning I woke up and read some very beautiful notes and birthday wishes that reminded me once again of the same thing. I have never doubted that I am surrounded by amazing and caring people. I am very blessed this way. Reading their words today just cemented for me the truth in the footprints I made in my life up until now.

So, dear Fear, listen closely. Maybe you are here because you think that I haven’t lived enough, done enough, seen enough or whatever else you have concocted in that pea-size brain of yours. But I know in my heart that it is about being happy and finding the beauty in every single ordinary day that will make the biggest difference to my life. Look, I poured you some tea, and soon we will have some birthday cake. I hug you tightly, and will continue to sit with you, because I think it is time we get to know each other very well. You are going on a long trip away from me soon, and I would just like you to know first who I really am.

Much love
la
xo

What is a must?

Love
Patience
Laughter
Friendship
Understanding
Creativity
Imagination
Caring

My children’s wellbeing and happiness
My family’s wellbeing and happiness
My community’s wellbeing and happiness
My world’s well being and happiness

Everything and Nothing
Panta Rei
Estin Enai


What is not?

Fear
Anger
Socks
Sometimes shoes
Belly lint (THAT’S JUST GROSS)   
~

Finally, a moment to update you on the results of the Swim-A-Thon…. I did it - 64 lengths of our half-Olympic sized pool. Done! The swim was great – a lot of fun, and I had some good cheerleaders with me! I ended up raising $2,555 in pledges, and I am very very grateful to everyone who donated. You are awesome!

For the first time my daughters swam with me, which was wonderful. They have been a little young in the past years to join me and I never pressure them to jump in, but this year there was no stopping them. They are an inspiration to me and I am sure I have said it before, but they are one of the main reasons why I do any of the things that I do.

Life now is getting back into normal rhythms. I am looking forward to whatever comes next!

To date, we have raised over $46,000 to go towards children and youth programs that we run here for low-income families and are still collecting until the end of March. We had about 80 teams – families, friends, co-workers put in teams this year, which is up significantly from last year. I hope that we will meet our goal. These are tough times – and these programs are more and more in demand. I am confident!

Thank you again to everyone who took part in the swim, sponsored a team and cheered us on all week.


much love!

Leigh-Anne
xo