i lay down
my body
on this bare piece
of earth
breathe in
the scent of grass heavy with dew
life borders
borders where
the passing made history
with each footstep

skin pressed
down
i watch
through open fingers
above my prone self

palms to the wide black dome
supplicant
turn my hands over
and
over
Night
to break the sky
until the stars
fall endlessly
through the space
between
me and eternity

another turn
more stars fall
caught in the netted strands of my hair

when it all falls apart

a part of me
finds
its way

home

~
LA Tyson

Tomorrow morning I will be taking my youngest daughter for an ultrasound on a large growth on her wrist. We have been to the doctor's and although they are almost certain it is benign, because it continues to grow and does not go away even if drained, that we have to rule out every possibility. She is scheduled for surgery already in September - but if it is something more serious, the surgery will be bumped up. Please keep Samantha in your prayers. I cannot pretend, that as the mum, I am a little worried, but I feel confident that it as serious as it could be, but prayers definitely would not hurt. :-)

much love,

Leigh-Anne

here is your silence
in this room
laid out across the tables
in soft golden tones of candlelight
in the pages of closed books
resting now in piles
by my bare feet


here is your silence
wrapped like the amethyst beads
around my wrist
this pulse that we all share
shortening the distance
between us


here is your silence
in this quiet place
of my heart
the night folded into me
until I know longer know
where the night begins and I end
here is where love turns into
the next spiral of life
this is where silence walks

out across one open palm
to the next
held together

my heart to yours

~
la tyson

Night jasmine lingers
On bare arms
Shoulders golden from afternoon sun
As I lay my head down
Lulled by fountain songs
Here along the pathways
Lit by tiny fairy lights

Vines creeping in a curtain of green
Embrace this table
Where candles sit like jewels
In the darkening evening
Only the shadows know
The leaping joy of my soul
As the mourning doves coo
Their sweet and lonely goodnight

The morning now seems long passed
When the light traced shadowed outlines
Of maple leaves on my skin
And I sat enthralled by the silent life
Of this beautiful garden

I watched as the day undid itself
Each moment the water leapt over
The edge of the stone fountains
And sunlight caught itself in
The silvery streams

It was the silence that called to me
This question –
How do you articulate joy?
It seemed an insult to use my voice
Just then instead the garden cautioned me
To sit with the question
Hold it within before
Letting the answer roll out of me

And so it has sat with me
The entire day long
I was unmoved and yet moving here
Among the blossoms and hanging leaves
The birds came and went
Flowers opened and closed in the heat
And the sun rose to its zenith and set
I heard the garden sigh contentedly
While I drifted along with breezes and clouds
And just now, sitting in a quiet corner
Looking over the garden to the waterfall
The answer came to me


I smiled.
~

la tyson

I would say nothing personally is troubling me. I have no complaints about my life – I am healthy, as is my family, have a roof over my head, food on the table, and peace surrounds where I live. Freedom. However, I am troubled by some of the major events occurring in the world. The struggle for others to be safe, free, fed, sheltered… breaks my heart for many reasons. It makes me sad that it is a struggle for some to have the basics in their lives. I work for a non-profit organization (have for 9 years) and have seen first hand the struggle people face, especially children, living in poverty. The many layers of issue complicate the problem, and while some solutions are helpful on the short term, if there can’t be a fundamental shift to address the larger, long term issues, then poverty is a cycle that continues through generations of people. Not to mention even the absolute hardship that throwing politics and religion into the mix brings.

Being troubled doesn't lead me to complain without doing something about it. This is why I work where I do. Being troubled moves me to make a difference, and the help those around me, beginning with my family, my children, to see that there is something we can do. Making a difference in one life IS important. Making a difference is a million lives IS important. Caring and compassion does go a long way to helping people, no matter what their situation, to make a difference and help. Sharing resources, being creative, being positive in the face of despair, determined in the face of hunger. I am troubled that sometimes people forget to start where they are. It is good, because sometimes I forget too and need to be reminded.

There is much that I wish and pray for in this life for others. For myself too. In a world where the elite would rather spend millions on taking one flight into lower orbit than work to feed the bellies of millions of children.... I should be troubled and remain so.


la

Time – quite literally. I keep losing my watch … I just did again this week - two of them. So really, it is better to say watches, because each time I lose one, I have to buy a new one, which ends up being lost sooner or later. Grown up people are supposed to wear a watch. I am not sure why I think this – someone long ago probably said it to me and it stuck. It stuck to the degree that I think of it every time I have already lost the watch. Generally speaking the only time I wear my watch is when I have to “know” what time it is. I usually like to have naked wrists. It actually bothers me to have anything on my wrists for an extended period of time because I have cysts in both wrists that grow from time to time (nothing serious of course, they are ganglion cysts, have had them all my life). That is the excuse I use anyway. The truth of the matter is, I don’t like to wear a watch. If I don’t have one on, then time doesn’t matter so much to me. Actually, even with it on, time doesn’t matter so much to me. If I wear a watch it is because time matters to someone else, and I am a cheerful person, wanting, most often, to help another person (ie. Time restricted) remain cheerful. There is naked beauty in not wearing a watch. Truly there is.

There are other things that I have lost besides my watches. I had a pendant once, a stone turtle. I had been given it as a gift, and the person said to me “Oh Leigh, this is the right animal for you. The turtle is your animal guide.” Now, the thing is, I am a gracious person as much as I am generally cheerful. I accepted the gift. I put the pendant around my neck that day. We were in a park at a folk festival. We walked around, had some lunch and then on the way home, I realized suddenly, the pendant was gone. It had fallen off my neck and dropped into the grass somewhere. I was disappointed. I thought all that night and for several days later, that was my animal totem that I lost in the park. That can’t be good. A few weeks later, I happened to be in a shopping mall, and there were craft vendors set up in the common area between the stores. Luck would have it that one of the vendors was selling stone pendants (among other things) and I found another turtle pendant. Happily, I bought it, put it around my neck. The next day – it was gone. I had put it on the table (I was certain) but when I got up, I could not find it anywhere. I checked my bag, checked my apartment – it did not turn up. I was starting to question whether or not I was losing my mind. Why didn’t this turtle friend of mine want to stick around?? I remember calling my friend with the bad news. “No matter” he said. “ I will find you the right turtle”. I waited. Ok, I didn’t exactly wait around the phone, and went about my regular days. A week later, we met for coffee, and he presented me with another turtle. One that his friend had made. Great, I thought, I am all set. This turtle stuck around a little longer. Two weeks went by and I managed to keep track of the elusive turtle. Then it was gone. I was at work, finished my shift and when I got home late at night, realized, the string of the pendant had come undone. No turtle again.  I am a believer in things happening in threes. Clearly the turtle and I were not compatible. I do enjoy turtles, but never again have I tried to keep one around my neck in any form.

The topic of loss always reminds me of the story of Kisa Gotami. I don’t know if you know it. She was devastated by the death of her son. Not know what to do, she seeks out the Buddha for advice. He said he had a cure for death, much to the surprise of everyone, but the price to know the cure was to bring him a mustard seed from every family in the village who had not known death. Kisa Gotami went to every household looking for these special mustard seeds. Everywhere she went she met people who had lost someone to death. Finally she returned to the Buddha and sat humbly at his feet. She realized how selfish her grief was, and the Buddha explained to her how her attachment to death and dying, to her grief and loss made her suffer. It was when I first read and heard this story that I understand something, and started to truly let go.
~