Gaia Community: quietlaughter's Blog

What culture most interests you?

http://quietlaughter.gaia.com — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 15:43:00 GMT

I have always been interested in cultures around the world – for as long as I can remember. I was fortunate as a child to have godparents who were Cree, and they shared some very special gifts with me that looking back, truly sparked my love for cultural histroy. Growing up, since it was during the days of handwritten letters and not emails, I was also very active with over 70 penpals from around the world, to whom I wrote regularly and received many little gifts and insights to their lives, and they mine. It is definitely this love that led me to live in a small West African village in my final year of high school, in order to learn the local languages, and experience the life there first hand. Also, because of the training that I did as an anthropologist ‘back in the day’ I was able to turn that passion into something more structured, in terms of the tools that I learned to explore and understand different and similar elements of cultures and societies.

I have a deep love and respect for all cultures and traditions. Looking at culture and how various elements, such as music, art, lifestyle, sociology, economy, history, language, religion, ritual, traditions etc. come together to influence, shape the individual living within that culture and vice versa to me is extremely fascinating. It makes me appreciate how the web moves and how everyone is connected in the broadest sense – and yet, each culture, each expression of existence, is uniquely beautiful.

:-)

Tags: Q&R, culture, interests, other

words lie dormant

http://quietlaughter.gaia.com — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 02:44:50 GMT

words lie dormant

curled in upon themselves

wrapped in a tiny cocoon of silk

they will emerge when the time is ripe

unfold and dry in the warm morning sun

tentatively press the wind

until they are strong enough

to lift off the ground

and fly to the cool, clear blue above

soon they will know freedom

if only for a short time...

how long will these words have life?

how far will they travel, even when the air

grows colder and winter comes?

it is not to understand the way of flying,

or the how... this i do not need to know

it is enough that the words fly as they do

with no more purpose

than a golden butterfly

~ Leigh-Anne Tyson

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Gift of Gratitude - week 4

http://quietlaughter.gaia.com — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 18:48:51 GMT

There are many things that I am grateful for here on Gaia - the following are my pick of moments on Gaia that touched me in the past week, made me think, and take pause. I am grateful for those who are sharing positive energy from the heart and have found myself lost in the beauty of your words and choices to share. Thank you very much for enriching my life the way that you have.

This thread on OLMW started by Kath about what the word Love means to you – I found reading the various posts, thoughts and experiences on the topic of love to be very thought provoking and touching, and in reading those posts, felt encouraged to share some of my own thoughts and old rambling ideas on the subject.

Tai’s poem made me smile a lot

Zephyr’s beautiful poem touched my heart

Bhatta’s journal entry on Self and Body was a good refresher on the Chandogya Upanishad, and has encouraged me to return to study the text once again.

Meenakshi's poem Parting of Ways and accompanying photographs were stunning.

and last but not least, my dear friends of Diving Deeper and our Freewheeling February threads 1, 2 and 3 that is being looked after by Andrew and Gabriele this month. I find it so uplifting and inspiring to be able to check in, share, encourage and enjoy each other’s company in the midst of busy busy days and lives that we all have. I appreciate deeply the friendships and my writing companions that grow there.

~

Tags: gift of gratitude, thank you, quietlaughter

When was the last time you were moved to tears?

http://quietlaughter.gaia.com — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 17:30:49 GMT

this morning.

Tags: Q&R, emotions, weeping, life

conversations in three parts

http://quietlaughter.gaia.com — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 15:44:57 GMT

Not once, but for some days

I have wrestled over

Thoughts about conversations...

Conversations with silence

I supposed that there were none at the end

Not with Silence

But all, at their core, the conversations themselves,

Were simply and truthfully

A gentle or not so pleasant exchange with the self

Myself

Not even could it be certain

That it was even the bigger ‘self’

The one that stands alone with a capital S

Self – that one

No, more likely always it was the small one

Timid at times, or filled with fear, anger, confused

Giddy, overjoyed

Who half-kneeling spoke, under the pressure of Silence

- nothing much of value was said.

Once some days ago, months now maybe it is hard to tell

By now, I had thought about this long enough

To try on the ideas and conclusions like they were clothes

Some like heavy felted wool,

I shrugged them on around my shoulders

Stumbling as though forced down by the neck

Into the dirt

Others instead, slipped on my body effortlessly

Like a well worn pair of jeans or shoes

With a memory of every movement, every path made

Worn to a mold of myself after a million steps

And without another thought I was walking

In these familiar impressions once again.

Still others – and there were many

Made me shrink away – away

At first glance

Resistance to those threads of thought

And then at second glance or third or fourth

I found no connection, no comfort, no understanding

I refused to open my palm

To embrace what I could not face,

Not even once

The thousand faces buried here

In this line of thought, pushed and pulled

Wrenched and cajoled and still

It was not the Silence I mistook it for

It was not the conversation I was part of

Not as I naively thought

It turned out to be just a smaller version

Of me

Now, as I sit here to write

Humbled and quiet

I find that the conversation

Has always been

Well over my head.

To the ear, words and discussions,

Poetry and dreams are like candy

Some days, where they fall inward

Like a stream of water through the soul

Punctuating the day and night

They leave me at their close,

With the sense of having known something

That I did not before

And I treasured that

Some days, they are like a bitter drink

That flows through the inner canal to the heart

Words, like daggers, score the surface

And deeper still

They throw the inner sky into turmoil

Those days are like high winds beating

Itself against the wall, and I am left

Spent and worn down

These are not new – not to my ears

Or eyes or heart (and likely no one else’s)

But when solitude exerts itself

And sits on me like a lumbering oaf

I can no longer decide which of the two

I most prefer.

III

An echo rumbles outward now

Propelled by unseen hands

I am only one standing on the edge

To listen – but what do I really hear?

Like a face reflected in the mirror

How do I know which is true

The note that leaves the instrument

Or the one reverberating in my mind?

What weight does the truth have in either case,

When I only want to listen….

The echo now is caught in my throat

Like a horn or drum that sounded at one time

Carrying messages beyond, but stopped awkwardly

As I wonder am I strong enough to follow through

Despite the hesitant step,

the sharp pangs of fear and self doubt

the echo as insistent as the original note

bellowing to be heard

love. live. be free

Tags:

What is happiness to you?

http://quietlaughter.gaia.com — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 20:04:21 GMT

True happiness, for me, is the result of my being able to act, exist from a place within myself that is peaceful, calm and compassionate. I don't look for things to "make" me happy - I am happy, and everything that I do - every word that I write, every interaction with another person, even when I am sad I am happy, because I am living out of my heart - I am living out of a very deep place like a well of happiness that has no bottom.

Does this mean that I am never sad, never angry, never frustrated, never afraid? Of course not. I have been sad lately for many reasons - and angry too and frustrated - but I know that these are temporary states of mind for me. It is ok to be sad, but it is not where I live from. It is ok to be angry, but I don't live from that anger. It is ok to be frustrated, but I don't let that frustration govern my every day. This is especially true of fear.

For me that is the true happiness that I experience every day, with every moment.

Tags: Q&R. happiness, happy

What is the light like right now?

http://quietlaughter.gaia.com — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 04:29:16 GMT

the light right now is low, soft, and golden. outside my window night is stalking the empty branches of the trees and fading piles of snow. the room is empty except for me and is silent, while everyone else is sleeping. I was listening to music an hour ago, lost in lyrics while I was working. Now, the music is off, and I am listening to the silence. The space around me is comfortable, reflective, and allowing as I sit here contemplating sleep.

Tags: Q&R, light, space

walk in love

http://quietlaughter.gaia.com — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 02:04:42 GMT

walk in, love

into the night

while the moon wanes

and paints the sky canvas

with silver fingertips

walk among the dew-kissed grass and roses

sleeping now with everything else

why walk here...

why when the night draws itself out

and shadows have no sunlight

to dance with ?

why?

walk in, love

into the garden

to listen to the world breathing

one breath

we lose our words

in this night

under the summer moon

ideas curl up in the burrows

with hopes and fears

and just for this night

under a canopy of stars

there is stillness

that touches the skin

walk in, love

no more searching

or wondering

no more doubt

no more fear

for life is in the details

the dew on a silver line

of spider's web

the cool night breeze

that makes us shiver

the snuffling dog at our feet

that licks our toes in greeting

the kiss that makes everything right

here, in the garden

walk in, love.

~ Leigh-Anne Tyson

Tags: quietlaughter, love

21 guns

http://quietlaughter.gaia.com — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 01:25:53 GMT

2010 Grammy's - 21 Guns - Green Day/American Idiot Musical

sometimes it's just good to listen.

Tags:

shocked

http://quietlaughter.gaia.com — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 18:30:50 GMT

One of my goals for this new year was to catalogue and archive all of the writing that I have done over the years, particularly in the past two and a half years of being part of the Diving Deeper workshop. I have never done it in my life - kept track of anything that I have written, except to throw it into a file once I was done writing, and not look back at it.

Over the past month I have been chipping away at creating the archive, and while I am not done with the entire catologue of writinig - I did complete the DD portion of it, and I am utterly shocked at what I discovered.

During the course of being part of the workshop, I have learned that word count is often the first go-to measure for stories. The content of course has a lot of weight, but word count plays into it as well. Out of curiousity, I recorded in the archive the word count so that I could find out the total sum at the end of it all.

*drum roll please* Since November 2007 I have written 311, 123 words for the assignments, poetry and prose pieces that I have posted in DD. So, the average page has 275 words on it, which translates into about 1, 132 pages that I have written.

HOLY CARP!

that's a lot.

here's the kicker... I'm still writing! I have 5 more stories to write before I turn 40 to achieve my other goal - not to mention that all of this is still first draft and needs to be edited and polished. Seems like I have my work cut out for me for the next little while!

I need a cup of tea.

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toast as universe

http://quietlaughter.gaia.com — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 13:50:03 GMT

Out you flew from the toaster
Transformed by coiled electric heat
Here I am rushing to accommodate you
Without burning my hands on the crust
Spreading carefully to the edges
Crushed peanut paste and raspberry jam
There is honey too but I will save that for
Another morning …
After laying you out on a plate
Winnie the pooh stares at me through the cut
I made to divide you in two….
If I kept to divide - would I always have half of you?
I wonder…
It would be nice if the portly bear would stop to stare
Don’t you think?
Oh I have remembered another poem I wrote
To a peanut butter sandwich ( I will find it somewhere
Hiding in a box perhaps waiting to be shared ones again)
Your old counterpart, not toasted but still a favorite
Bedtime snack (before the universe snatches me away
To spread me out like the same peanut butter here, waiting to be
Digested ….)
Someone shouted a little
Asking for that part back that is spread out across
The universe … I think maybe I’ve spread myself too thin
to return sometimes …
It seems I have scraped the last of the jar
and laid the contents out in front of everything
in nothing I find myself -emptines
once again….
back to you toast, sir, waiting so calmly here
soon consumed you will be there still, in my belly,
in crumbs across my chin and all over the counter
(I am such a dainty lady)
Recycled there is no loss of your existence
Or mine for that matter
Returning is no effort
It just is.

~
Leigh-Anne Tyson

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Where have you found the most peace of mind?

http://quietlaughter.gaia.com — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 02:21:29 GMT

Where have you found peace?

What brings you solace?

What calms you?

I have found peace in many places. Outside and inside. Under the branches of trees, by the ocean, in the mountains, by the lake, in my garden, in my living room… many different places.

Watching the sunrise on a misty foggy morning when the sky is pink and everything is touched with January frost….

In the arms of the one that I love, listening to his heart beat….

… hearing the laughter of my children and the way they smile with their eyes….

Brings me solace

Letting go calms me.

And just being helps me to live

Tags: Q&R, peace, inner peace, calm, relaxation

Who have you been speaking with recently?

http://quietlaughter.gaia.com — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 03:35:30 GMT

No one. Everyone.

Tags: Q&R, talking, speaking, conversation, connection

40 weeks before 40

http://quietlaughter.gaia.com — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 18:30:21 GMT

I decided, way back in May that I would spend the last 40 weeks before I turned 40 with some goals in mind. One of my goals was to write at least the beginning of 40 stories that I continue to work on, polish and enjoy. Another was to read 40 books or stories and probably there were other goals that I made, but I can’t remember now. Those were the top two goals. It’s been quite awhile since I updated my list of written stories, and I thought about it for some reason today. After having a look through my folders, I realized that I am just five stories shy of my goal with 2 ½ weeks left to go. No problem. I won’t be meeting my reading goal, unfortunately. I have certainly read many things, but not that many books by any stretch. One out of two isn’t so bad :-)

Stories written:
40 weeks before 40

1.    Rita and Henry
2.    A night fear - beginning
3.    Climbing inside - not me
4.    One
5.    Winnie and Naomi
6.    In the garden
7.    Shouting to the valley below
8.    Closed
9.    Billy Oliver
10.    Elias and Helene
11.    Rice sock
12.    Appassionata
13.    Complicated Kindness
14.    Lizzie and Arthur
15.    Twenty-ten
16.    Tapping
17.    Stretched
18.    Saying Goodbye
19.    Eden and Calvin
20.    The Brass Lock
21.    Fingertip to Wood
22.    Morning Coffee
23.    Place Between The Tides
24.    Coming Unravelled
25.    Tegan and Max
26.    So Like Hi
27.    Confession
28.    what I do not want to write about
29.    Seven of poetry
30.    Twelve Days
31.    Charlie – no argument, no anger, no remorse
32.    The Retreat
33.    Madeleine’s Ghost
34.    African Jewel
35.    Birds & Invented Cages

~

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What has the first month of the decade been like for you?

http://quietlaughter.gaia.com — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 15:42:38 GMT

January, typically for me, has been a period of excitement and renewal. The weather is cold usually but sunny and bright. This is the first time that I can remember (probably in 25 years +) that I found myself getting lost in the dark and cold days of winter. After any period of intense change, I find that I am often confronted with another period that I can only compare to as grieving. January was a month of grieving for me, and there have been days when I felt overwhelmed by sadness and loss.

As intense and altering the fall was for me, January was even more so, as the changes settled in and touched my life in a very practical, tangible way; not only my life, but also my children’s, my husband’s, my family at large. The death of a family member just prior to Christmas, serious illness of my mother, and the dissolution of marriages (2) in late fall made Christmas especially difficult and the tragedy of Haiti rocked me to the core. I didn’t try to fight against those hard emotions, or let them swallow me up, I tried my best to be with the present and let everything unfold as it needed to.

I made a conscious choice as the weeks piled up and February loomed closer, to not be miserable and focused on the positive. There is a great deal of healing to be done, I am finding, and I am taking the time to allow for that to happen.
~

Tags: Q&R, month, reflection

Gift of Gratitude - week 3

http://quietlaughter.gaia.com — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 03:32:20 GMT

week three... and many gifts I have found here and there...

Centria's answer to the question What keeps you from expanding your circle of compassion? made me thinking deeply.

Meenakshi's poem Looking for Not-I made me think and took me to another place of thinking which I had long forgotten about.

David's video of Warren Buffet Tai Chi that I have fallen in love with, and have added this awesome song to my soundtrack as I practise forms because it just makes me smile.

Kris' answer to the question What has the first month of the decade been like for you? especially the photo made me smile and feel hopeful.

Chloe's beautiful blog post called a snippet of writing - she reminded me of the many snippets that I have myself, scattered in various places, that tell a story of someone in a particular moment and that person has a lot to teach me.

and finally

Taikunping's post The Spirit of Lao Tsu in Now I see the Moon - for sharing a text that I love dearly. I am usually quite shy in sharing my thoughts on the text, but felt encouraged and inspired to do so. Very beautiful moment for me.

Thank you all for the gifts of the past week - your thoughts and words have enriched me in ways that I cannot begin to give words to. :-)

much love,

Leigh-Anne

Tags: gift of gratitude, thank you, quietlaughter

Ian Tyson's PositiveCast

http://quietlaughter.gaia.com — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 16:14:57 GMT

I thought I would share something with everyone here - a new project that my husband is working on. Twice a month he will be sharing his new PositiveCast with everyone. You can visit his website at www.iantyson.ca and have a look around.

Although his main audience tends to be high school and university students, I really feel that his message is relevant to everyone.

:-) Hooray for Everything!

xo
la

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Are you punctual?

http://quietlaughter.gaia.com — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 14:44:00 GMT

Yes. If I have agreed to be somewhere at a particular time, then I am there. Actually I am usually there early. If there is no set time – then I go at my own pace. I think that my being punctual (or early) has to do with respecting someone else’s time, and valuing them as a person. Everyone has a busy life. If I eat up someone’s time making them wait, it’s not fair to them. I am mostly mindful of the needs of someone else more than my own needs at that particular moment. Not to say that there haven’t been times when I have been late. The last time I was late was because of a snow storm. It took me an hour and a half to drive to work, normally it takes 30 minutes. I don’t like being late for work or appointments. Ironically, it doesn’t bother me to wait for someone else.

Tags: Q&R, punctuality, waiting, time

What keeps you from expanding your circle of compassion?

http://quietlaughter.gaia.com — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 03:15:20 GMT

I have been thinking about my circle of compassion today after reading this question. I have no glib answer, tonight. I had not thought of the compassion that I show others as being a circle that extends outward. The image that comes to mind is the ripple of course, me being the pebble, and the wave the compassion moving outward. Is there an outside edge? Is there someone that is untouched by something that I may have done or said out of compassion for someone else? Maybe. If I thought of it only in linear terms, but I don’t. I think more of these things in terms of a web, connected, intricate, and constantly vibrating. If I touch one part of the web, everything moves, and nothing is outside of it. There is no edge then, no limit. There are challenges for me though at times, because in the end, I am human and imperfect. I have had moments where I felt at the limit – but discovered later that it was an illusion, the limits that I imposed on myself, and that I was capable of much deeper and greater compassion for those that were most difficult to love in my life.

The only person that stands in the way of expanding the circle, or the web is me.

Tags: Q&R, compassion, empathy, love

Why do you like spending time with others?

http://quietlaughter.gaia.com — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 04:43:41 GMT

I am used to spending extended periods of time by myself, especially now that my children are older. My husband is often on the road during the year, sometimes for weeks at a time. Solitude is familiar, comfortable for the most part. I am also used to being with a lot of people every day with my work. I enjoy spending time with others because each person has a story to share, their personal story, and as I have said before, I love to listen.

I will be honest... I am chuckling - my first answer to this question kind of surprised me. The answer that immediately came up when I read the question. I am sitting here, alone (not in the dark at least) and my inner "pain in the ass" piped up and said 'well, I don't like spending time with people. I would rather be alone than spend time with others. don't make me spend more time with others because I'd rather just not have to talk to anyone right now." ... *sigh* ok. so yes, right now I'd rather not talk with anyone directly. I'm having a weird day. Slept until 11am (13ish hours - 7 hours longer than I normally do) - have felt off and like I was still sleeping for the rest of the day.... I would not make good company right at this moment. But in the right moment, spending time with others is beautfiul, and I am happy to do it.

xo
la

Tags: Q&R, community, people, gifts